


my hope no longer lingers

by acidquill



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s05e19 Judgment Day (Part 2), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acidquill/pseuds/acidquill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn't get a whole lot better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my hope no longer lingers

**Author's Note:**

> tag/coda to 'Judgement Day.' title borrowed from the exies. originally written Feb 25 2010.

Being assigned as Agent Afloat is like being ripped in two. Tony sure as hell wasn’t expecting a commendation, not after the mess in L.A., but there’s no way he could have prepared himself for what Vance throws at him. From the look on Gibbs’ face, Bossman wasn’t expecting it either.  
  
Probie’s looking a lot like Tony feels; Ziva is somewhere between shock and fury. Tony tries to find some comfort in the fact he isn’t the only one getting the rug snatched out from under him. He’s not real successful.

 

Most of his clothes stay in his closet, shoes too. Tony leaves a note for Abs with the address for a rental unit downtown, his lease agreement, and enough money to settle with his landlord. She called him around two am, half teary and half pissed. After he finally got her calmed down, she promised to take care of boxing up his stuff and whatever else came up while he was gone. Made him swear he wouldn’t forget to email her.  
  
McGee calls him a little before five, spends a good ten minutes trying to apologise for waking him up. Ziva leaves a short voicemail, while Ducky’s is long and rambling. Tony smiles at both and tucks his cell into his pocket.  
  
He’s kind of glad he doesn’t have time to say goodbye in-person; he isn’t sure he’d be able to get on the damn boat if he did.

 

His first night aboard is one of the most miserable experiences of his life. It doesn’t get a whole lot better.  
  
The drinking doesn’t start until a week or two later. He refuses to think he’s becoming his father, but night after night of waking up sweat-soaked begins to wear at him. He’s on a ship full of sailors that don’t want him - nevermind _like_ him - with nowhere to go but his own head when the ocean gets too big, too lonely. And that isn’t such a nice place to be lately…hasn’t been for a while if he’s feeling particularly truthful.  
  
He drags the fifth of bourbon from under his bunk; it's not the first one he's stashed under there, probably won't be the last. Forgoes the cup and drinks straight from the bottle. The stuff is almost as strong as the stuff Gibbs keeps in his basement. Tony winces at the thought, takes another swallow.  
  
Tries to forget there is anything back in D.C. worth missing.  
  



End file.
